u have to reduce it to most basic level, that is: do nothing!,
becoz both of u have been married for a long time, and nothing is
gonna change in 1 day or even 1 yr!.
so the best: let it go. let her do her own ways [while u also maintain ur own ways] -- regardless
if it fails, succeeds or whatever,, thats No longer ur problem ;)
,,, otherwise, yes, one day u will have a heart attack or sumthin'
then u also need some 'meditation' to ease ur pain:
a. go to http://www.drwaynedyer.com/ he is a master of tao philosophy,
or google about tao.
b. since im a christian it would be also good to read the bible,
the roman chapter, specifically roman 12:9-21 ;)
there are many online bible.
c. get out of the house, and do something u seldom did it before,
eg. eat at a jewish deli, sri lankan food, betting etc etc.